Posted by Blogger Name. Category:
Annette King
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Apology
,
David Cunliffe
,
Domestic violence
,
Helen Clark
,
Jenny Shipley
,
Labour Party
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Lecturing
,
Martyn Bradbury
Martyn Bradbury is in lecturing mode in his Herald on Sunday column today. With reference to David Cunliffe's astounding apology for being a man, Bradbury opines:
Pundits and talkback radio callers couldn't trip over invisible privilege fast enough this week as a knee-jerk backlash against David Cunliffe's heartfelt apology at a domestic violence symposium was turned into a "not-all-men-are-rapists" argument or a "men-get-sexually-abused-too" debate.
"I don't often say it - I'm sorry for being a man, because family and sexual violence is overwhelmingly perpetrated by men." This genuine statement of remorse for New Zealand's staggeringly high domestic violence rate was decried by some commentators as disingenuous. Those of us comfortable in our masculinity can look beyond the personal offence semantics and respect Cunliffe's political courage. Every man should feel sorry for the tens of thousands of women who never see justice in our courts for rapes and sexual assaults against them. Every man should feel sorry that 35 Kiwis are killed in domestic violence-related crime annually.
Every man should feel sorry that 20,000 women and children sought refuge last year. Because 84 per cent of convicted domestic violence is male on female. That isn't to diminish the men assaulted by women, but it is important to accept we have a problem of violence against women and paying lip service to that culture of violence isn't enough.
Labour's attempt to challenge that lip service via a real desire for gender equality has seen a sexist counter-narrative . "Manban" and "female dominated" have been headlines used to rob women of their platform to have their say. Who women vote for will be essential to who wins in September and Labour's strong stand on women's rights coupled with their baby bonus, extra maternity leave, donation-free schools, iPads for every student, $16 minimum wage and smaller class sizes can rally that female vote and gain Labour the 32 per cent needed to make a Parliamentary majority, if Greens gain 15 per cent and Internet Mana 3.5 per cent.
We frankly don't need lecturing and/or hectoring from Comrade Bradbury. As we have noted many times we abhor domestic violence; it is NEVER OK. And whilst we may feel sorry for those who are victims of domestic violence, we most certainly do NOT feel sorry that we were born male, and we are not sorry that we are a husband and a father.
Domestic violence needs to be stopped, but politicians making grandiose apologies for their gender will have no impact whatsoever. Nor will the hand-wringing and lecturing of the likes of Martyn Bradbury. What does need to happen is for those men who beat or psychologically abuse their partners and children to stop, and to seek help. And what also needs to happen is for those close to those people to stop making excuses for them.
As for the so-called "sexist counter-narrative" Bradbury refers to, we have been consistent in our criticism of Labour's attempts to engineer gender equality in its caucus because it is patronising and demeaning to the very women Bradbury tries to defend. Helen Clark didn't need quotas or list manipulation to become leader of the Labour Party and Prime Minister. Nor did Annette King need a quota to become Phil Goff's deputy leader. Nor for that matter did Jenny Shipley, to become New Zealand's first female Prime Minister. All three women got their own their merits, and all power to them.
Like David Cunliffe a week ago, Martyn Bradbury doesn't speak for us, or for the vast numbers of men who totally reject domestic violence. Nor should he pretend to. We're glad Martyn Bradbury is comfortable is his masculinity. So are we, and for that we make no apology whatsoever.
