0 Song of the Day - 24 April 2014

We may be in a different land, but Curly Sue has been in touch again. And that can only mean one thing; the mickey being extracted.

If you were a child of the 1970's you'll remember English band Supertramp. With much pleasure, we present to you Curly Sue's slight re-arrangement of Goodbye Stranger:

"Goodbye Labour"

(Shane Jones bids "Haere ra" to his party)

It was an early morning Easter day
I was up before the dawn
And I’m not so sure I enjoyed my stay
But I must be moving on

I consulted with my whanau
and I got straight on the phone
Said “I've had my fill of Labour
And I must be moving on” (yeah, yeah)

Now I don’t believe what Cunliffe says
Is the undisputed truth
And I want to be in Pacific trade
While I still got my youth

I don’t need political rancour
And media scrutiny is a pain
Just the thought of Hotel TVs
Sends a shiver through my veins

And I will redefine ‘Shane’
‘Shane’ will be brand new
I'll never look behind me
And my troubles will be few

Goodbye Labour it's been nice
Hope my leaving wont paralyse
Tried to see your point of view
McCully made my dreams come true
Goodbye Trevor, Goodbye Dave
Will we ever meet again?
I feel no sorrow, I feel no shame
Come election, you’ll feel pain

Party devotion is not for me

Backbench demotion has set me free

Islands in ocean, far away

Is the life I’ve chosen every day

So goodbye Trevor, Goodbye Dave

Will we ever meet again?

Will Labour win? I think they won’t
Another poll just fell
And silent T doesn’t get the throne
I guess it's just as well

Calling out Countdown’s behaviour
Was really good for me
Say National’s my saviour
 Well its better than the Greens

And I will redefine ‘Shane’
‘Shane’ will be brand new
I'll never look behind me
And my troubles will be few

Goodbye Labour it's been nice
Hope my leaving wont paralyse
Tried to see your point of view
McCully made my dreams come true
Bye Jacinda, Goodbye Clare
Gee your cupboard’s looking bare
I feel no sorrow, I feel no shame
Come election, you’ll feel pain

Now I’m leaving, got go, hit the road

I say it once again

As I’m leaving

Not sorry I’m not stayin

Bye Jacinda, Goodbye Clare

I’m leaving, I’ve got to get away

For those of you unfamiliar with the tune but who want to sing along with Shane's little waiata, here's the original:

We thank Curly Sue warmly for this little ditty. It will be in our mind as we holiday today!

0 Song of the Day - 17 April 2014

Curly Sue has been feeling creative again. We've just received this via e-mail:

 Clustertrucked (with apologies to AC/DC)

I was caught
On the motorway behind a slow truck(Cluster)
I look around
I think ‘ordinary Kiwis’ don’t like to be stuck (Cluster)
My mind raced
And I took the political view (Cluster)
And I knew
And I knew not just any old policy would do (Cluster)

Cannot be dumb
Move minds and hearts
Aim the guns
Keep cars and truckers apart 
You've been-clustertrucked

Free up the highway
Keep speeds up, in the right lanes
Regulate truckers, yeah truckers
They’ll never complain 
And if they do 
We’ll remind them of 2008
We make the rules, who really cares

Yeah, yeah, if their, their, goods arrive late?

I was shakin' at the knees

I am helping Kiwis
Yeah sweating the small stuff

You've been - clustertrucked,clustertrucked
Yeah yeah yeah, clustertrucked
Oh, clustertrucked
Yeah

Trucking industry on its knees

Use Kiwirail please?

Clustertrucked, clustertrucked
Yeah yeah yeah, clustertrucked
Clustertrucked yeah, yeah, yeah clustertrucked

Said yeah, it's alright
I’m, doing fine
Kiwis gonna love it
Its Cunliffe time

I’m so fine

Clustertrucked, yeah, yeah, yeah,
Clustertrucked, clustertrucked, clustertrucked

No criticism, baby, clustertruck

You've been clustertrucked, clustertrucked
Clustertrucked, clustertrucked

You've been clustertrucked

Just in case you've been living under a rock, or you've never heard of AC/DC (who may have played their last gig), check out the inspiration:

Thanks a bunch Curly Sue; let's rock it out into Easter! And if you're on the roads, as we will be on Saturday, take care, and don't get Clustertrucked!!

0 Song of the Day - 14 April 2014

Curly Sue sent us an e-mail last night. And this is perhaps her/his best effort to date. Sing along, to the tune of the Eagles' iconic song Hotel California:

The joke called Dotcom-Mana

Roto-vegas state highway, ill wind blowing near
Warm smell of sulphur, rising up through the air
Up ahead in the distance, I saw an SUV’s lights
It was a convoy carrying German Kim
Were there no available flights?
There he filled up the doorway
Talking on his cell
And I was thinking he’s so fat,
"Giving this man a hongi could be hell"
The he took to the lectern, Sue Bradford ran away
There were voices down the corridor,
I thought I heard them say...

Welcome to the joke called Dotcom-Mana
The election race (The election race)
Will be our disgrace
Plenty of room at the joke called Dotcom-Mana
Well there has to be (there has to be)
A money guarantee

His mind is certainly-twisted, he got the Mercedes bends
He said a lot about poverty and called us ‘friends’
Internet for the homeboys, it will all be ‘no sweat’.
And the size of his cheque book, will make us forget
So he called up to Hone,
he said "please where do I sign?"
He said, "When I get my money here you’ll think you’re stuck on cloud nine"
And hear the creditors calling from far away,
Woke Kim up in the middle of the night
Just to hear him say...

Your money is stuck in the joke called Dotcom - Mana
Rorting MMP (Rorting MMP)
Easy as 1-2-3
Kim’s livin' it up with the joke called Dotcom-Mana
Time for Annette Sykes (Now for Annette Sykes)
To talk alibis

All this wheeling and dealing,
The champagne is on ice
Hone said "We are all just socialists here, change comes with a price "
And in the meeting hall kitchen,
We gathered for a feast
Lamingtons and plastic knives,
And the feeling we’ve been fleeced

Last thing I remember, I was
Running for the door
Asking Hone to take us back
To the party we were before
"Relax, " said the fat man,
"My money’s what you’ll receive.
You can kid yourself all you like,
But no one rides for free! "

This is an outstanding piece of work from Curly Sue, whoever (s)he is. We are especially pleased that Curly Sue managed to fit in that immortal line for last week that "no one rides for free" with Dotcom, because that's exactly how it is. 

Hone Harawira will be waking to that revelation this morning.