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David Carter
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Gordon Campbell
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Jane Clifton
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NZ First
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Smoking gun
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Tau Henare
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Tracey Martin
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Winston Peters
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| Even the woman doing sign language struggled with Winston Peters yesterday! |
Jane Clifton has been around Parliament's Press Gallery for almost as long as Winston Peters has been a patron of the Green Parrot cafe. And it's fair to say that they have crossed swords more than once.
But Clifton's column on Stuff today is so good that it merits publication in full and interrupted. It's vintage Clifton reporting on a less-than-vintage Peters; under the heading Winston shoots from hip, Henare hits bullseye Clifton opines:
It was less the promised "smoking gun" than a dribbling water pistol, but Winston Peters made sure to get himself turfed out of Parliament yesterday to ensure his allegations about Judith Collins made the news one way or another.
With great fanfare, including giving it his special gravelly- voiced shouting treatment, he announced that the justice minister had sinned by failing to declare aspects of the funding of her Chinese trip on the MPs' register of pecuniary interest, given that a portion of the trip was for private purposes.
And the prime minister knew all about it, he added, seemingly pausing for gasps of astonishment.
"Why . . . didn't he sack her?" he thundered, when the gasps were not forthcoming.
The NZ First leader seemed genuinely astonished that Prime Minister John Key didn't break down and confess to this conspiracy. Instead, Key said he would look into the matter, but as Collins had declared all the information about her trip and its funding in her ministerial declaration - which was why Peters was able to access the details - the material was hardly a dark secret.
The Government backbench sniggered.
This lack of traction so irked Peters that he cranked up from his Avenging Prosecutor setting, to his Witchfinder- General mode. This involves repeating allegations at machinegun speed, with extra rhetoric and gravelly shouting and his trademark eyebrow haka.
Unfortunately, at this tempo, Peters' words emerge so fast, they barge into one another - "Benefits-cover-up- foreknowledge-November 7-pecuniary-interest . . . !" - leading, as Key smirkingly pointed out, to incoherence.
"From what I can see, if the member could just speak a bit more clearly, it might help everyone, including the media," Key said.
Adding to Peters' annoyance, Speaker David Carter was gun-shy about MPs making imputations against one another's integrity, as he ruled had occurred illicitly during last week's "cash for access" allegations. He interrupted and warned Peters several times.
Peters furiously declared that he would not be stopped from "answering" questions, when he meant to say "asking" them. Then he called Carter's rulings unfair, and had to withdraw and apologise.
In a subsequent exchange, Peters muttered aloud in a derogatory tone during another of Carter's rulings, prompting the Speaker to expel him.
"And pick up your smoking gun on the way out!" National's Tau Henare interjected, to general hilarity.
Peters' deputy, Tracey Martin, complained that Henare should be turfed out as well, as he too was guilty of interjecting.
While Carter was considering this, a beaming Henare evicted himself - safe in the knowledge that no-one was going to top his well-timed one-liner.
Tau Henare's interjection was one of those rare moments where almost the whole House (bar the NZ First caucus) found humour in Peters' discomfort. Even David Carter found it hard to suppress a smile when Tracey Martin made the rookie mistake of repeating Tau Henare's interjection verbatim, to further mirth.
Poor old Winston; he's copping it from all over today. That's really no way to treat Parliament's elder statesman. Even Gordon Campbell from Scoop has fired a shot at Peters this morning, beginning his piece with "Once again, Winston Peters failed to ignite on the launch pad.".
It's sad to see in some ways. Winston Peters was, in his prime, a very good politician. Sadly, those days were some considerable time ago, and the 2014 version of Peters is a shadow of his former self.
