Regular readers (all four of you) will remember that back at the beginning of the year, we advertised for help. Regular commenter Nookin was one of those who got in touch, and he's just submitted his first piece. Check this out...
Breaking NewsIn an exclusive interview with Nookin-air, the leader of the opposition, Mr David Cunliffe, has given further detail of his proposal to establish a specialist Court in Christchurch in order to deal with outstanding insurance claims.Mr Cunliffe announced that the court, to be known as Kiwi Court, was closely modelled on its Australian counterpart, the Kangaroo Court."Our Australian neighbours are a constant source of inspiration for pragmatic solutions to desired outcomes" said Mr Cunliffe, giving as an example, the operation of the Australian Rugby League Judiciary when dealing with New Zealand rugby league players shortly prior to the annual Anzac Day test. "Our aim is to create certainty so that people can get on with their lives without being troubled by ethereal notions such as justice".If elected, a labour government will establish the Kiwi Court within its first 100 days of office. "In the true spirit of Len Brown, we will do 100 things in the first 100 days of office and the Kiwi Court will be number 2. We may even promote it to number 1 if we have to rely upon a sweetheart deal with the mana/Internet party " he said.Kiwi Court will be served by retired judges from the District Court, High Court and the Eketahuna Dog Show. "We also understand that there are now surplus judges available following the closure of the Ellerslie Flower Show" said Mr Cunliffe.Mr Cunliffe says that the Kiwi Court is expected to dispose of all outstanding insurance litigation arising out of the Christchurch earthquake within a six-month period. The court will have a streamlined procedure. All claims will be dealt with on the documents. Paperwork will be minimal. It will be restricted to a statement of claim to be filed by the plaintiff. A decision will be expected the day following the filing of the claim.I suggested to Mr Cunliffe that that might, to some people (mainly the insurance companies) seemed somewhat unfair and one-sided. Mr Cunliffe refuted this suggestion as nonsense and retorted that the insurance companies would welcome it. "They, the insurance companies, will be paying all of the costs whether or not the claim succeeds as I very much expect all of them so to do. It is very much in the interests of the insurance company to minimise delay and costs. We will be saving them thousands in legal fees because of the simplicity of the process. New Zealanders will welcome this. The money will be coming from evil overseas insurance companies who contribute nothing to our society. They are happy to accept premiums for reinsurance but in return pay nothing in the way of tax and block up our legal system with unwarranted and unnecessary litigation."Court fees will be fixed at $5000 per claim and will be invoiced to the insurance companies immediately following judgment along with the plaintiff's solicitors fees." This is a great opportunity for overseas insurance companies to contribute to New Zealand society" said Mr Cunliffe." From every dollar that we recover from the insurance companies, we will pay $1 towards the alleviation of poverty, $1 to alleviate the housing problem in Auckland and $1 to fill in the Flockton basin. This is Labour Party policy at its finest" exclaimed Mr Cunliffe, preening himself in the mirror as he departed .Nookin
We reckon that Nookin has done a rather fine job for a beginner, especially his comparison of Kiwi Court to its Australian counterpart. Please feel free to commend him in the comments section, and who knows; Nookin-air might become a regular feature!
Thanks Nookin; much appreciated.
